5 Types of Money Relationships

Jenny Whichello, Bliss + Wealth
4 min readFeb 1, 2024

Ah, money. It can evoke such a range of emotions — joy, security, anxiety, even fear. But have you ever considered that your relationship with money might be more like a personal romance than a simple financial equation? Just like with human relationships, the way you interact with your finances reveals patterns, behaviors, and underlying beliefs.

So, buckle up, because we’re diving into the love languages of your wallet.

The 5 types of money relationships:

1. Long-Distance Love: The Avoidant/Indifferent

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but for this type, distance translates to disinterest. Money is a distant relative, rarely acknowledged and seldom visited. Bills pile up unopened, goal-tracking is a foreign concept, and the future remains a hazy blur. While seemingly carefree, this hands-off approach often leads to missed opportunities, debt spirals, and financial stress lurking beneath the surface.

2. Volatile Romance: The Self-Sabotaging/Abusive

This relationship is a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Grandiose spending sprees fueled by impulsiveness are followed by guilt-ridden scrimping. Credit cards become weapons of self-harm, and debt acts as a toxic partner, whispering promises of temporary pleasure before leaving a bitter aftertaste. This pattern, often rooted in deeper emotional issues, requires understanding and healing to foster a healthier financial dynamic.

3. The Dedicated Long-Term: Loyal and Secure

This is the steady, reliable partner in your financial life. Budgeting is a shared commitment, goals are clearly defined, and investments are meticulously planned. Security and stability are paramount, leading to a foundation of peace of mind and freedom from financial worry. While this approach ensures a comfortable future, it might lack the adventurous spirit of exploring new financial possibilities.

4. One-Sided Love: Spending Without Saving, or Saving Without Spending

This relationship has two distinct flavors: the spendthrift and the extreme saver. For the spendthrift, every paycheck is an invitation to a shopping spree, leaving little room for future needs. Conversely, the extreme saver prioritizes accumulating wealth above all else, sacrificing present joys for a hypothetical future filled with numbers on a screen. Both lack balance, neglecting either enjoyment or future security.

5. The Intimate Connection: Hands-On/Intentional

This is the deeply connected, mindful approach. Every dollar is seen as a tool, carefully considered and consciously allocated. Tracking expenses isn’t a chore, but a source of information. Investments are researched and understood, aligning with personal values and goals. This intentional engagement fosters not just financial security, but also a sense of empowerment and control over one’s financial destiny.

So, which type describes your money relationship?

Understanding your financial love language is the first step towards creating a healthier, more fulfilling connection.

Here’s how to identify which of the 5 money relationships you have:

  • Reflect: Look at your past spending habits, money management methods, and emotional responses to money.
  • Identify patterns: Are you avoidant, impulsive, cautious, or somewhere in between?
  • Acknowledge needs: What do you want from your relationship with money? Security, freedom, growth?
  • Embrace curiosity: Learn about different financial strategies and tools.
  • Seek support: Consider talking to a financial advisor or money coach to address deeper issues.

Transforming our money relationships

Once you’ve taken a pulse check on your money relationship, it’s time to rebuild it. Yes, transformation is possible. You don’t have to break-up with your money.

Step 1: Befriend Your Financial Feelings:

Money isn’t just numbers on a screen; it’s interwoven with emotions. Identify how you feel about money. Is it anxiety around scarcity? Is it excitement about future possibilities? Are you fueled by a desire for security or freedom? Understanding your emotional drivers helps you make conscious choices, not impulse reactions.

Step 2: Define Your Money Manifesto:

Imagine your ideal financial future. Are you sipping margaritas on a beach, debt-free and carefree? Are you building a financial fortress to protect your family? Get specific! Clearly defined goals become your financial North Star, guiding your decisions and motivating you on challenging days.

Step 3: Cultivate Financial Mindfulness:

Just like mindful eating fosters a healthy relationship with food, mindful spending does the same for your finances. Before every purchase, pause and ask yourself: “Does this align with my values and goals?” “Will it bring me lasting joy or fleeting satisfaction?” This simple questioning empowers you to make conscious choices and avoid mindless spending traps.

Bonus Tip: Celebrate Your Victories!

Transforming your relationship with money isn’t a linear journey. There will be bumps along the road. But remember to celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Did you resist a tempting purchase? Did you automate your savings? Cheers to yourself! Recognizing your progress reinforces positive behaviors and keeps you motivated on your journey.

Remember, this transformation is yours to own. Don’t compare your money relationships to those of others. Embrace the messy moments, learn from setbacks, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. With a touch of self-awareness, intentionality, and a dash of fun, you can rewrite your financial story and cultivate a relationship with money that empowers, excites, and supports your journey towards a fulfilling life. Now go forth, financial butterflies, and spread your wings!

Want to transform your relationship with money in 10 days? Enroll in my free 10-day Money Mindset Reset course.

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Jenny Whichello, Bliss + Wealth

On a mission to help the next generation of unstoppable women have blissful relationships with money while building wealth! Free resources @ blissandwealth.com